Letters to our 13 year old

We recently celebrated our middle one’s 13th birthday and decided to write letters to her. It was our way to mark this important stage of her life. Sometimes it’s good to communicate differently. All of us tend to speak a different language and often times misinterpret others ‘but I didn’t mean it like that ‘ is a  common phrases we use day to day. Having said that, teenagers have their own complex language, complicated world and music of their own whims and desires which we the parents often fail to understand. It’s a good idea to convey our expectations wrapped with utmost care and love. I really like hubby’s letter. It is a true testament to his character- genuine , honest and practical quite the opposite of what  I wrote as mine was titled toward utopian ideas and some soul searching. We do belong to two different planets after all ;but if you combine the best of both, you may reach your parenting goals one day. Enjoy the letters and do share with your other half, incase they need some inspiration for writing letters too.  

Hubby’s letter

Bohat Piyari Taabeer kay liye 

It took me some time to think what kind of letter should I write to you… Something which you may want to retain in your archive and the one that you want to read sometime before you turn 18 and perhaps one which you can share with your children when they turn to their teens… I still hope by that time children are still conceived naturally and are not orderable thru Apps with predefined characteristics 😊 So Taabeeer! Today you are 13! You are not a child but a Teenager… so what does that mean? It means your airline ticket will now cost what it costs for an adult and you are no more the child which stays free in the parent’s room .. Ha ha that’s on the lighter side. But actually today you have stepped into a very important phase of your life… Really! You have only five more years until you become an adult. These years are magical and formative years of your life. These are the years where you are going to set your course to what kind of a human being you want to be.. the one who is just chasing her own dreams, own wishes and has her own priorities or the one who wants to think and aim beyond. So I cannot stop myself from sharing some fatherly nuggets with you: 1. First Happiness lies in many little things. You have to uncover them. Trust me the most lasting one is where you make someone happy when he/she is in despair… 2. You know once JFK visited NASA and he asked the cleaner what do you do here? The Cleaner replied I am helping these guys send the first American on the moon (Man did not land on the moon by this time). So discover the purpose in life as it is the true measure of success and happiness what we all want to achieve from life. 3. I know you love your diary so I want you to write in your diary every week, just one thing you did for someone else. No matter big or small, but do it consciously. That someone could be anyone at home or outside. I promise that will become your habit. A habit that will become the way of leading your life. 4. Be nice to your sisters and especially to the younger one. At times she can be annoying but trust me both of you in the coming years will become BFFs for each other. So love her the way she deserves to be loved. 5. Never be miser with appreciation. It is one form of expressing your gratitude to people. You will be rewarded in many ways you may not even think of. Try it for some time and let me know if it has not worked for you. 6. Have a big heart, forgive easily and don’t keep grudges as it only adds impurities to your heart and mind. 7. Be humble… for it only lifts you higher and higher. The more humble you are, the more you are being loved. 8. Never try to build your worth on objects. But remember it is built on experiences in life, the places you have lived and the friends who have always trusted you. And here is my final statement “No one will ever love you the way Amman and Baba love you. This love is unconditional and will last forever” Signed by Baba on 19th October 2017. 

And now Mom’s turn  😀

Piyari Taabeer,​​​​​​​​​

19th October 2017 You have turned 13 today MA and im just thinking how time flies, it was just yesterday you were lying by my side in the hospital, clinging to my heart and well that's how the pattern was formed. First you stole my heart and then the bed and lastly you were all over my mind:). Today, im supposed to write a letter that should help you in your teens and even later years. Please read it every year until you turn 18 and then i will write another one for you Insha Allah. As for now, I don't have a list of advice as i know you are already a very sensible girl who doesn't need a manual to steer through this vulnerable time. But, it's nice to listen to what elders say , they always speak out of their experiences and that's what makes it valuable. So here is my list ( not a long one): First and foremost thing i want you to learn is to know that happiness lies within. It's not an external phenomenon. Every day you wake up and you have a choice to be happy or sad. Happiness is to be created and the process is so beautiful that it would fill your heart with love and gratitude. Never depend on your family, friends, teachers to bring joy or sadness in your day. If you attach happiness with other people you will always be captivated. One after the other you will keep worshipping people, places and times that make you feel happy. In you lies a beautiful spirit and a kind heart that is capable of taking care of itself. March to the beat of your own drum. Fall in love with ordinary routines, dull moments, small little things and make them big with your great love. Yes, you can do that and i promise i will help you nurture this habit. I would also want you to have clear priorities in life. You should never confuse success with happiness. Keep in mind successful people may or may not be happy but happy and grateful people are always successful. You should truly understand and analyse the meaning of success. Grades & admissions & career look very tempting and the world around you would delude you into thinking that this is success but you, my child, would not and shouldn't fall prey to these delusions. Always keep in mind all these materialistic achievements are the means to reach your goal but not the end itself. It's easy to achieve success; it takes a character to be a good human being. To be wise, to know that what is written for you will reach you eventually and you don't need to run after those things blindly. You should never forget that you are a spiritual being on a human journey. Your goal is not to achieve materialistic things but to achieve something higher. To be content to whatever life has given you is what i consider success. Never forget what Rumi has said, "what you seek is seeking you". You can only gain it through right priorities in life. Please never forget that in this household we don't only care about grades; we care about good manners, beautiful souls, caring and nurturing family members. We celebrate little moments and we believe in ordinary things. However, we try to turn them special with our love. Lastly, never forget that Salah is the key of success. Allah has promised you, " remember me and i shall remember you". Never compromise on Namaz. It is the light that brings us back to the right track no matter how hard the circumstances may be. And finally, never forget Amma has loved you more than anyone, always have and always will. This is an unconditional love. Im always there for you ❤❤ 

#inspirationmotherhood